I don’t know about you, but I have felt insecure about myself many times over the years because I felt I couldn’t keep up with the beauty standards of society. Nope, I am not a size 0. Nope, I don’t have a thigh gap. Nope, I am not at least 5’11” tall. Nope, I don’t know how to apply makeup with all of that contouring stuff. Nope, my belly didn’t shrink back after my pregnancies. Nope, my arms aren’t toned. Nope, I don’t have a big butt. Nope, I don’t wear only designers clothes. Nope, I have not injected fillers on my lips, face or anywhere really. Nope, my skin is not flawless. Nope, I don’t have high cheekbones. Nope, I don’t have a six-pack. Nope, I don’t meet the criteria of the current beauty standards. Does that mean I am ugly? HELL to the NO!
Let me tell you who I am and why I am my own kind of beautiful:
- I am currently a size 10. I was a size 6 before my babies and I had made it to a size 14 postpartum. No I don’t need to justify my size but if you really feel you need to know, I gained too much weight with my first pregnancy and never recovered. After many years fighting to lose weight nothing has worked because while I love to workout, I have never controlled very well what I eat and for years I have been eating things that I shouldn’t or without moderation. Clearly though I had made some progress from the size 14 which was my biggest and I will continue to work until I reach my goal size which is not a number but being healthy.
- My thighs touch. It happens. Even when I was skinnier my thighs were always ticker compared to my waist. I am a pear-shaped. It happens.
- I am 5’2”. What can I say… my parents aren’t really tall and also the food I ate growing up wasn’t filled with hormones so… yup, I am short.
- I don’t have the time, patience or skills to apply makeup… you know, the Kardashian way. I simply don’t care much for it. I am not even wearing foundation these days. My routine goes from 4 minutes most days (apply moisturizer, SPF stuff, mascara, make my eyebrows even-ish, and either eye liner or a bit of eye shadow) to 10 minutes when I try to “do my makeup“. I just feel that less is better sometimes. This one of those things for me. Some women can’t leave their house without glamming up, I am not one of them.
- Yeah.. I have “fluff” still from my pregnancies. It happens. For many years I was uncomfortable with it but not any more. See, that “fluff” came about after the miracle of life and shit creating a human being in ma belly is no joke! If some “fluff” stayed after my babies, ¡bendito! cuz they are worth it. And before you scold me with the: “you can change that if you want, you need to try harder, workout more, starve yourself or go under the knife” let me stop you right there. I know I can do any or all of those things but I choose to love my body as it is now as I work slowly but surely in improving it.
- I don’t have toned arms but I do want them… actually I want strong arms. So yes, I am working on that. If I ever need to punch someone in the face, it will be hella of a punch!
- I am not concerned if my butt is not as big as J-Lo’s, or Nikki Minaj’s, or Iggy Azalea’s. These women are extremely beautiful but I am not trying to be like them. I am beautiful the way I am. If a big butt is your priority, then do the work. If a lil tushy is your priority, then work on that. A woman doesn’t have to have a gigantic butt to be beautiful.
- What can I say about fancy clothes? … not my priority. I’ve met women who think the more expensive their clothes are, the better they look. I’ve also met women who think Forever 21 is their thing. I am neither one really. I think is not about about how much you pay for your clothes, but feeling beautiful, comfortable, and powerful in them.
- I know big lips and wrinkles-free are trending these days. I don’t feel I need to inject anything to plump or smooth anything in my face to be beautiful. Inner beauty shines through wrinkles, pimples, freckles, skin spots or lips of any size. This also ties up to a flawless skin. I could have someone teach me how to apply makeup to cover up every imperfection or go under knife to change them. I choose neither and stick to embracing every bit of me because it is all beautiful.
- How can it be that is okay to have big cheeks when you are a baby but you must have high cheekbones when you are an adult? I am telling you is not a most! I’ve met SO many women who are just incredibly beautiful and let me tell you that not every single one of them has high cheekbones.
- Actually I do have a six-pack but is very well protected by that layer of “fluff” I told you about… that counts right?! In all seriousness, having or not having defined abs is not a requirement of beauty. It simply isn’t. Do not forget that.
So as you know and can see (sorry but weekends are makeup free for this mama), I don’t meet the criteria society has for being beautiful. Then why do I say I am beautiful? Because I am! Beautiful is not a one size fits all kind of thing. It is defined a standard that pleases the senses or mind. Beautiful is self-love, self-acceptance, self-strength. It is not comparing ourselves to others because who we are is perfect. It took me a long time to stop comparing myself to others. I have a fitness IG account and while I have received great support from my fit sisters, I used to compare myself to them all time. Why am I not losing the weight that fast? Why my arms don’t get toned as fast? Why I can’t control what I eat like them? While their progress motivated me to keep going, it was also making me doubt the speed of mine. I was doubting myself. And I had to stop and remember why did I ever started my fitness journey in the first place… I want to be healthy! So I took a good look at myself in the mirror and as I was ready to judge myself for the things I wasn’t, I stopped and focused on the positive. Beautiful is realizing that the flaws have a story, and that the imperfections are part of the story. Beautiful is appreciating that I have a story, a beautiful story that makes me who I am. A story that I am proud of; a story I love; a story that is unique. Just like me… a beautiful story, a beautiful me.
I am not saying I am perfect. Nobody is. But I am so grateful to have reached that point where I can enjoy and love the good and the bad. I want to be a better person: spiritually, emotionally and physically. A beautiful soul is more than just a pretty body. There is beauty in every single one of us, but we need to allow ourselves to see that and embrace that. No two people are the same kind of beautiful; that’s the beauty! Embrace your uniqueness. Love yourself. Be kind to others but especially to yourself.