“Now I’m floating like a butterfly. Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes. I went from zero, to my own hero […] I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter. Dancing through the fire ‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar!” Don’t you love that song?! I’m telling, in my opinion Katy Perry looks her best in this video, gorgeous! If you haven’t seen it, here’s a link to it. But back to the lyrics, I love this song for so many reasons not to mentions is so catchy but again let’s dig deeper on that phrase that gets to me the most: I went from zero, to my own hero.
While listening to the song, I imagine she is referring to an unhealthy relationship. You know the kind where the other person doesn’t allow her to be herself, where she is afraid to speak up her mind, where she feels she just has to sit there and take whatever comes her way, where she has no choice. And I’ve met women in this type of toxic situations where they can’t find her own voice to speak up and demand what they want. But how does that apply to me? Well, first let’s clarify that while my husband and I aren’t perfect, we have a great relationship. We are a team and we work together to face life’s challenges and thrive. So no, don’t go bugging on him about treating me wrong because that is not the case here. So why do I relate to it? Well, there was a toxic person in my life who was making me doubt myself all the time. A person who made me wonder why my fitness progress was not just super slow but almost non-existent. A person who made me doubt my ideas and made me wonder if they were any good. A person who kept me from speaking up my mind. I was trying to enjoy my life to the fullest and there was this voice who made me doubt all the time… who was that person you ask? Well, it was actually me.
For way too long, I was my worst enemy. I felt like I was not doing things right, nothing was good enough, I couldn’t keep up, I had that self-doubt feeling a lot. That doubt wasn’t just in my head but it would show on the outside. I would avoid taking pictures because I was so self-conscious. Even when looking at myself in the mirror, I would focus on flaws I felt I had rather than looking at the beautiful woman I know I am. I’m so blessed of the relationship I have with my husband because I can tell him anything, especially when I feel bad. He has always been such a trooper listening to me and helping me refocus. I would feel better for a little while but then the doubt would come back in no time. And let me tell you, that is no way to live a happy life. Sure we are not Bill Gates rich, no mansion and fancy stuff here, but we have a beautiful family and every reason to be happy with the life we have, limitations included. So why not focus on that?
About 3 1/2 years ago I ran into this amazing fitness community on Instagram. It was a bunch of ladies from all over the world who were on a fitness journey. And as I went deeper and deeper in the community and the lifestyle, the change within happened. These ladies would always cheer me on, helped me find the positive in my fitness journey, encouraged me to keep going no matter what. And as those cheers kept coming, an inner force kept growing strong. I started to love myself, my body, my uniqueness, my flaws, my everything. It was a process, but my inner voice grew stronger and louder. And with that I also stopped caring about what others could think of me. Trust me, this is actually not a bad thing. I was too worried to try to fit in the Kardashian-wanna-be profile (okay might not a Kardashian but you get my point), I was working hard on becoming something I didn’t really wanted to be. But then the moment came when none of that mattered anymore. I started to fall in love with that women on the mirror staring back at me.
And slowly but surely things had just gotten better and better. I struggle with cravings at times but I have completely fallen in love with eating healthy because not only it tastes yummy but I feel better physically. I know which foods I am intolerant to, and I see and feel the difference when I avoid them. And as my belly has gotten better, my body has gotten stronger, and so has my mind. I have always loved to exercise because it is not a punishment for the stuff I eat but rather a celebration of what my body is capable of. I have been running more, still not crazy in love with it, but I love challenging myself and trying for improve my pace with every run. I have continued to attend classes that empower me as a woman and help me have a clearer vision of what I want to do in my life. A lot of these changes have happened within. So when I see myself in the mirror, I am my own hero! I continue to get stronger by the day and I have no doubt I am capable of doing anything I set my mind to. I am strong. I go this!
So if you can relate to the old me, let me tell you that you don’t have to be stuck there forever. You can change things and change them for good. It is all about self love and realizing of the amazing things we are capable of. It might not happen overnight, but we are strong and capable of changing things especially inner doubts. Wash those away. You deserve it. You too can become your own hero.